April 2011

April 2011
Boondocking at my brother's in Reno, April 2011

Friday, February 24, 2012

Whew!!! Glad that’s over!

I really shouldn’t be writing a blog tonight and I cannot be held responsible for anything I say as I am still in a somewhat drugged and muzzle-headed state.  Today was my introduction into the Colonoscopy Hall of Fame – yes I am now a member of that elite and wonderful comradeship of old farts who have been hosed. 


If you have had this procedure, then you know that the prep is the worst part.  I sent Russ to the store yesterday morning to get me some Gatorade and Jell-O.  Oh yes, the instructions said I could have clear liquids.  I naively thought I would be able to swallow something tasty while also ingesting 128 oz. of vile “prep” liquid.  Uh, no, not happening!  But Russ was so sweet to try and he also came back with a get well card for me.  This is the front of that card.


card


Did I tell you, I think my husband has sadistic tendencies?  I emailed a copy of this card to my siblings hoping to generate some sincere sympathy and this is what I got back from my brother, David:


Please do not fear having a colonoscopy. It is no big deal.
1. You drink a few gallon of a lovely flavored liquid, tasting interestingly like cooled urine. Although I have never actually tasted urine, at least not that I know of, it is roughly what I imagine it is like.
2. Then you take a nice comfortable seat in the bathroom for a few hours, OK, more like a whole day, and feel like you just lost your entire body weight into the sewer system.  Not a big deal.
3. Finally, you crawl into bed... wait a minute – one more trip to the comfortable toilet for a few minutes, or an hour. Now back to bed, well not so quick, one more rotation ought to do it.
4. Then you wake up and go delightedly to the hospital or other torture chamber, where they strip you of your clothes, dignity and money.
5. Then they put you back to sleep (where were they when you were asleep last night?), but not before you can see all the other people in the area who are recovering gracefully, vomiting wastefully and being a pain to your hopeful expectations of a trouble free procedure.
6. Then some ingrate, ignorant and wandering orderly walks through with a garden hose wrapped in his arms, and says, “We’ll be with you in a moment!”
7. Yes, I have fond memories of the day I almost decided to give up on life altogether.
Actually, I don’t remember a thing! No problem!
David


Thanks, Bro, I love you too.

And so it went.  I was extremely nervous and I think they gave me an extra boost of drugs as I was very aware of the beginning of the procedure.  I yelled  “up periscope” and I think that’s when the doctor said to put me WAAAY out! 
 
Good news though.  I only had one polyp, of which they very thoughtfully provided me a color image.  I can post it here if you want!!!  I have to wait 7-10 days to find out if it is good or bad but I ‘m sure it will be fine.  I also found out I have diverticulosis and that might help explain my tummy troubles.  No big deal.  So, since I can think of no one else to blame for my having to go through this procedure today, I think I‘ll blame Rick.  It was, after all, while visiting Rick and Paulette at the Sands that I got so sick and  finally decided to bite the bullet and have this done.  (just kidding Rick)
 
So with that I’ll sign off.  If I make any inappropriate comments on anyone’s blog tonight – just blame the drugs. WHEEEEE!!

35 comments:

  1. Brian said to tell you he would nominate you for membership in his Semi Colon Club!

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  2. Whew, Donna...sounds NOT fun. I have to say that my prep wasn't anything like that. I think I had something different. I took a pill and then the liquid I drank was a piece of cake actually.. I didn't hit the throne till twelve hours later and was getting a bit concerned! Ah well, either way, the whole thing is no fun but I put my experience out there so folks who haven't done it yet might try. I am scheduled for another one when I am 75 and probably will skip it.

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  3. Yikes, sounds awful! Hope that's the end of the story!

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  4. I'm also a member of that club. I have to say that the procedure is nothing, absolutely nothing. It's the prep that's a PITA (excuse the pun). May as well just park your butt on the john and leave it there for 24 hours.

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  5. It's good you had it. My husband's doctor wanted him to have one about three years ago. He waited until two years ago but at least he had it then. They found a stage 3 cancer tumor and surgery was performed less than a month later. The good thing is that the cancer had not left the wall of the colon ... yet. Had he waited another year it probably would have. Good for you!

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  6. diverticulosis is not something to sneeze at my dear...no nuts, seeds, popcorn etc...you need a list from the dr on that one..glad you got thru the procedure with your humor intact..I can relate as I had have many many colonoscopies since my colon cancer back in 2006...definitely the prep is the worst part of the test..after surgery and a subsequent checkup I'm on the 5 yr plan :)...

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  7. http://accidentalamazon.com/dave_barry_colonoscopy.pdf Follow this link to Dave Berry's explanation of what you just went through. Fumiest thing I've read in a long time.

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  8. I really need to get one done as soon as Jim is up to driving again. I'm supposed to have one every three years and I'm about six months behind now. Loved your brother's description.

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  9. Both Craig and I had one this month! I didn't think it was to bad at all. We were told than almost all people have some diverticulosis. I'm on a high fiber diet right now, I've lost a few pounds and I'm rarely hungry.

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  10. Glad everything came out okay. ;-) groan

    I don't think I'll ever have one. I know I just can't do that prep. We can send a man to the moon, but we can't invent something other than the tortuous prep.

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  11. Welcome to the club. I too am a member of the 5 year club. I thought I was going to get a way with just having this one.... but I too had one benign polyp so he said I'll see you in five years.... My prep wasn't so bad... I learned real quick once you tip that glass to drink, don't stop til its ALL gone. I was pretty "wired" before the procedure and never did go to sleep, but really didn't care what they were doing. I wish I could convince Joe to join the club, but I can't drag him there..... Love the card your honey brought home too. :)

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  12. To Hobopals - the prep isn't as bad as we make it out to be. I put Crystal Lite lemonade in it and had a fresh cut lemon on hand. I would lick the lemon after each gulp of the prep and that took away the salty taste. Please don't let my comic rendition of events scare you away from having a potentially live-saving procedure done. It honestly was not that bad - and there is no cramping from the prep. Email me if I can reassure you any further.

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  13. Paul has had several of these. Each time they find a few polyps but nothing serious. I have had only one...no polyps So glad you yours went well! ~wheresweaver

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  14. You cracked me up! I joined the club last year. Don't remember anything about the procedure, but the prep -- man, oh man!! You have such a way with words -- must be a family trait. And Russ, he definitely knows how to pick out cards!

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  15. At least oyu can be glad it's over!

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  16. I had what Sue had and no big issues. The prep is worse the test, but everyone knows that "going in"... And now you have it done! Doesn't sound like you'll be able to go the 10 years tho with that polyp. Before long time will be coming around for another one the way time goes so fast nowadays!!! sorries.......

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  17. Ha Ha Ha Ha, Up periscope, I like that. Glad you weathered the storm okay. Be safe out there. Sam & Donna..

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  18. I am glad to hear that all went well. Diverticulosis is nothing to sneeze at for sure. The club is not for the faint of heart! I enjoy your's and Russ's humor.

    Just BS!(Bob and Sue)

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  19. Glad it went well... the prep is a small price to pay for the knowledge that all is well. The last time I had that done, the doctor was sitting on a stool playing a banjo while I was being prepped. At least he wasn't playing the song from "Deliverance".

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  20. I just got a referral for my second one (I had one 10 years ago)...not looking forward to it, but colon cancer runs in my family. Now, if I could only get hubby in for one!

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  21. Welcome to the club. :) One of the joys of turning 50. I had a tough time with the prep, ended up throwing it all up. I know to drink it more slowly next time - even though the instructions say to drink it every 15 minutes or so. Couldn't handle that.

    And I love your humor - I try to laugh through life, too!

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  22. Loved the card. I'm not a member of the club yet...but soon...

    Al has diverticulitis too and the last time he had a bad spell, I did some reading and it said to drink Aloe Vera juice and Papaya juice. It seemed to really help him.

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  23. Isn't the response to this kind of topic amazing? Well, it all comes out in the end. :)

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  24. glad you got through it!..now onto Saturday and maybe some 'pancakes'!!

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  25. Been there, done that a few times. Now both of us are overdue (should've gotten hosed last year). Now you can look back and re-enjoy the experience at liesure. Good email from your brother -- it helps me remember the process.

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  26. Oh ya ~ that is one of the rewards for hitting a certain age... not fun!!! At least it came out good ~ a lot of mature (lol) women have diverticulitis. Also another fun thing to deal with!
    Have fun now
    Donna

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  27. I was also diagnosed with diverticulosis about 12 years ago. After living all these years with the terrible attacks of pain and much research on the subject I've learned that it's a bacteria that forms in the pouches in the intestines that causes the attacks - not seeds or popcorn, etc. Some of my worst episodes were after eating something as benign as a ham sandwich. Another trick I've learned is to drink lots of water while eating especially if I eat anything that might not digest well and get stuck in the pouches - like corn, cumumber seeds, tomatoes, etc. Hard to believe but I can even eat popcorn as long as I flood my intestines with liquid while doing so.

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  28. Oh yea, we've had ours too. We will be visiting Len's daughter next week in Houston. She is getting one done on Thursday. I need to remember to share this blog with her. Or maybe not.

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  29. Well, at least it is over, Donna--until the next time! ;) I had a colonoscopy a few years ago and an due for another one in a couple of years. My dad died of colon cancer, so I get tested every ten years. Loved Russ's card!

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  30. Haha, your brother's commentary was right on!!! I have had TWO, boy was i mad at that doctor, and had to prep like that for this surgery too! Was very upset when i became aware of that!!! Figure i NEVER have to do it again!!!

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  31. Good for you! I'm glad you've gotten that done, so now you know you don't have to worry about anything. What about Russ??? :)

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  32. You two are a riot!! I am still laughing.

    I really enjoyed the card from Russ. Well said.

    Your brother's explanation was perfect.

    Glad you came out of it in flying colors.

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  33. I'm not gonna even read these other people's comments, because NO ONE'S colonoscopy was as bad as mine.

    I'm lying. Mine was as gross as everyone else's, and my polyp was of the about-to-be-bad and oversized kind, and so I'm glad - oh so glad - I had it done at 50 like a good girl about to lose good insurance.

    YAY YOU for getting it done.

    Roxanne
    The Good Luck Duck

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  34. Welcome to the club:( Been there, done that:) In fact my ten years is up and theoretically, I should have another, but after reading this, I might wait:)

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